Yesterday was my birthday! (Yes, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!) During my life I have been at different stages of relationships with men when my birthday rolls around. Its always interesting how a guy handles the idea of your birthday. Does he step up to the plate and plan something special? Does he avoid you until the birthday is over? A lot of it depends on what stage you are at in the relationship. But his actions actually can tell you a lot about him in general as a person.
For example, I had a first date with a very sweet (and incredibly handsome) guy the Sunday before my birthday. As we walked along the beach talking and getting to know each other, I told him my birthday was on Wednesday. Of course in this situation there are NO expectations since I just met the guy. But the sweetest thing, Wednesday morning the first text I received was from him wishing me a Happy Birthday and a wonderful day! He remembered. And thats all the gift I needed from him.
Last year around this time, I was dating someone for about 6 weeks before my birthday rolled around. I had planned a party at Beechwood for quite a large group of people. At that point we were spending alot of time together, so he was the one that escorted me to the party. Before the party he gave me a present, a small square box… every girl knows that means jewelry. They were diamond hoop earrings. Most women would of reacted with pure joy and excitement, instead it was a "Ut-oh" moment for me. I thought, this guy REALLY likes me, maybe even more than I like him. Actually to this day, they are my favorite pair of earrings, but the kind of gift does send a certain message.
Then there are the times I have been dating someone for years and he puts no effort into celebrating my birthday. Pure laziness is what I call it. Not to say that my "love language" is gifts, because it isn’t. I love to receive gifts but its not something I have to receive on a constant basis to feel loved. Its more about the quality time and touch from a man. (Read Tamera’s blog on the "Five Love Languages") I think at the stage of being with someone for a long time, its the responsibility of the person to put some thought and effort into your special day.
This year I was a little disappointed that I did not receive much acknowledgement from someone. Like I say often, its not his words its his actions (or lack there of) that you should listen to. A gift can be anything. It doesn’t have to be in the physical form of a present. It can be the gift of time, the gift of service or even just sweet words. Planning a picnic in a nearby park with her favorite bottle of wine. It can be creating 10 cards each with a service, like a massage or cooking dinner that she can cash in. It can be cutting out hearts with sweet memories written on them and putting them all over her bedroom walls. (Yes, I did this once for a guy and he kept those hearts up for months!)
It’s all about expressing what that person means to you, acknowledging that they are special. I understand not everyone is creative or has the cash flow at the moment, but there are a ton of resources out there that can provide ideas and guidance. But also make sure whatever you decide that creative gift should be, that it is communicating the right message.
Thank you to all my friends and Facebook connections that made me really feel loved this year!