We’ve all had one good friend nudge us to try online dating. Some of us have friends who decided to put up a profile for us. (I know someone who posted his mother’s profile, how cute is that?!). “Come on,” they say, “What do you have to lose?”
They mean well. They want us to meet a nice person. In the movie “Must Love Dogs,” Diane Lane plays Sarah, a divorced, single woman. Her sister, Carol, decides to post Sarah’s profile on PerfectMatch.com. Of course in Hollywood, Sarah meets Mr. Perfect after a couple of awkward dates.
Which brings me back to the first question, “What do you have to lose?”
T I M E. Lots of time. Online dating is huge time commitment.
Winks. Photos. Introductions. Reviewing. Writing. Responding. Searching. Writing. Responding (oops, did I already mention that to him or was that the other guy?) Reviewing. Writing. Be clever. Scheduling. Talking. Meeting, finally! …Winks. Photos. Introductions. Reviewing. Writing. Responding. It keeps going, and going…
I’m not the Energizer bunny. I don’t have time for this. I’m single, remember? I have to do EVERYTHING. I don’t have any help from a spouse or partner. I have to work, take care of my condo, buy groceries, exercise, buy my clothes, do my laundry, make my coffee, make my meals, clean, schedule doctor appointments, water my plants, pay my bills and make sure I send my mom a birthday card. And, that does not include my time for friends, family and interests!
You can understand how I don’t have time for online dating. One girl friend suggested I spend 30 minutes at night looking and responding, limit my time so I’m not feeling so overwhelmed.
There is one dating site that reveals when you are online to all it’s members. It’s as if you are standing over a huge fish tank filled with hungry fish. They can see the shaker of fish flakes in your hand. Immediately, they start swimming to the top to get your attention. Ironically, the site I’m referring to is Plentyoffish.com.
Not only do you need to review and respond to the messages that were sent while your were offline, now you see a flurry of messages coming in from other men. Compound interest is not a good thing in this case.
I don’t have time for this. Besides, most of these guys did not read my profile, they just looked at my photo. How do I know that? Because, somehow, the content I wrote describing myself and who I was looking for, disappeared from my profile and I still continued to receive messages.
I’m a busy single, why not turn over this item on my to-do-list to a professional? Let someone do the work for me. Before the internet, there were and still are match-making companies who cater to the busy professional single for a price. Together and It’s Just Lunch are two of many who do some of the work for you. After the interview process, they send you “matches.” If you are interested, they’ll arrange a meeting or lunch. The number of matches you receive is based on the package you purchase. You pay by the date, eight dates for $800, for example. The problem with this process is that your matches are limited by the size of their member data base. Online dating does not have a limit. Match.com has over 15 million members.
It appears I have two imperfect choices:
1) Online dating – Pros: relatively inexpensive/free and large data base with endless possibilities. Cons: requires a sizable investment of my time with limited matching capabilities.
2) Matchmakers – Pros: less time investment and personal matching service. Cons: expensive and limited data base.
Neither is the perfect solution. There needs to be a better option…
Now there is. It’s called Virtual Dating Assistants. You pay them a fee (around $500) to not only write your profile, but to do all the searching, reviewing, and responding for you until they find a match(es) on the dating site of your preference. They work for you, not the dating site. I think it’s the best combination of online dating sites and matchmakers.
My devotion to my career as a road warrior in the pharmaceutical sales field was starting to kill my dating life. Soon after I realized the potential of online dating, I began to develop a systematic process that my virtual assistant could follow to manage my online dating accounts and set up dates on my behalf. It was a rocky ride at first but after a bit of fine tuning we finally got the system down and my virtual assistant set up 79 first dates with truly impressive women over a period of 12 months with little support from me. Now, my partner and I are overseeing a hand-picked team of virtual dating assistants who are using our proven system to find great dates for busy professionals who don’t have the time to do it themselves.
Co-Founder, Virtual Dating Assistants LLC
Check out the 10 easy steps to their process. My favorite is #9:
Provision of Pre-Date Executive Briefing
Your virtual dating assistant provides you with a pre-date executive briefing, which is essentially a snapshot of all previous email interaction and other key information (i.e. date’s contact information and online dating profile, meeting time and place, etc.).
Okay, it’s a little strange to think I’m going to meet someone who thinks they’ve been communicating with me, when they’ve been communicating with my virtual assistant. Yes, it’s a bit impersonal, but these people online are strangers.
Let’s face it, dating continues to evolve. Fifteen years ago, online dating was not mainstream. Today, billions of singles use online dating sites to search for a mate. Many of them do not have the time (or the skills at researching). Why not hire someone to do the research for you so you can focus on the moment of truth, meeting in person to see if you have chemistry?