Even though I own a company that is all about getting singles talking doesn’t mean that every person I encounter I would be interested in dating. The thing is, you have to give cheers to the men that have the guts to walk up to you and talk to you and even more so, ask you out. Takes guts. And us ladies need to remember this…especially how we decide to respond.
And I am reminded whenever I see a woman turning down a man that is approaching her, that sometimes women can be brutal. Thats right, woman can be down right b*tchy, and it pains me. Because I know each time a man is shut down in an inappropriate way thats one more notch of rejection that they may not be so willing the next time to approach someone.
I was once out with a girlfriend, a very attractive girl I might add, there was this obnoxious guy that was hitting on her, sure he was going a little over the top of how he was approaching her, but her comments back to him, were more than double mean. I remember pulling her aside and expressing how she could handle that situation better without making the guy feel like he was eaten and spit out.
I have to admit I am not the greatest at letting a man know that I am not interested. I am more worried about hurting their feelings when I know I should be more direct. Yesterday, I was in a similar situation, in the process of getting out of my car in a grocery store parking lot, and man drove around the lot to say hello to me. Of course, I was wearing the SingleTee “looking for good pickup lines” but I’m not sure he could read the shirt when I had not even gotten out of my car…
We chatted for bit and asked for my number but instead gave me his card. Here’s a question, does a guy know you are not interested if you don’t give them your number, but take their card? I would love to know what the men out there would have to say… How would men prefer to be turned down in a kind way?
I have to tell ya, I did some research to see if there was anyone out there that could provide me a step by step of how to let a stranger down easy…so far can’t find the answer! All I seem to find, is “be honest”, “be straightforward”…and why its important to be upfront in the beginning…but so far I have not found the actual words to use….
I have found examples of when its a friend you already know, examples after you’ve had a date or two, but what to do when you meet a complete stranger… You cant say, “lets just be friends”, because you just met them… you cant say, “I don’t feel the chemistry”. Thats a lie, you just aren’t attracted to them for whatever reason. I guess you could say you’re dating someone or even not dating right now… but thats not always “being honest”. Ugh!
Looks like I will need to continue my search and will get back to ya!
But in the process of searching I did find this one article that touched on the subject… NZ Girl, a New Zealand online magazine.
She does say something about second dates:
“Second date blues: Saying “no” to a second date can be very tough, especially if they’re absolutely lovely but just not your type. A little self-motivational talk is required here. Just flash forward a couple of months and think how much harder it would be to break up then, then bite the bullet and let him know that you don’t see any romantic potential, but perhaps you can be friends.”
check out what else she has to say>