I think its easier for a guy when it comes to dating because they are much better at living in the moment. I would seriously doubt that the first time they meet a women they think to themselves, “Wow, this could be the one!” But when women on the other hand meet someone they think immediately about the future. What our kids would look like, where we would live, how it would be waking up next to this man every morning….Seriously! We need to be better about living in the moment.
The other night I was telling a friend about a fabulous first date, she then asked his last name and proceeded to say that it sounded real good with my name. I yelped, “Seriously let’s not go there”. I wonder why we do that and men don’t? Is it because women’s nature is to settle down, have children, be the wife? And mens purpose is to have as much sex as possible?
Why is it that men think about sex every 7 seconds of a day and women do not? I guess if we thought about sex as much as men did we would most likely be pregnant 24/7.
As stated in WebMD, and article about “Sex Drive: How Do Men and Women Compare?” “The majority of adult men under 60 think about sex at least once a day. Only about one-quarter of women report this level of frequency.”
This is one of those times, where I wish I could be more like a man. Just live in the moment and not try to plan out the future. Something I’ve been working on in many areas of my life.. I have attempted for the second time to read “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle. The first time I tried to read it, I don’t think I was mentally ready to hear what it had to say. I literally had to reread each sentence at least twice before maybe understanding what it was trying to communicate. My second time around has been a little better. But I have to admit, I’m halfway through it and bored again. Moved onto another book or two.
I get the gist of what its trying to say and I have definitely improved in this arena. When it comes to work, I just follow leads as they come in, same goes for friends. Its been so interesting how in the past two years how I have met some amazing girlfriends. Living in the moment when it comes to men and dating, I must pat myself on the back because I have definitely improved in this area. (at least at the moment!)
I’m typically not a woman who can date several men at one time. But I now understand the importance of it at least in the beginning when meeting new men. You see if I start dating or talking to one man, all my focus and attention starts to go back to that same place of trying to plan and figure out the future. So lately, if I notice my thoughts are too focused on one, I start dating others. Some may not agree with my strategy here but I am happy with how I am feeling at the moment. I know in due time, one man or another or maybe even all of them will “show their true colors” whether thats good or bad, and the decisions will naturally be made. Without feeling like I have to make them now.
I have heard that each relationship with a man that ends, whether it be one date, months or even years, I should not consider them failures. See it more as learning what works with me, an unfolding of getting closer to my true mate. Because each of them provides valuable information and guidance of traits that are and aren’t compatible with me.
So cheers to me as I continue to enjoy this interesting unfolding journey!
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Great attitude – one that will be extremely attractive to the right guy. Keep up the good work…
I agree that most guys don’t go into last name fantasies or wedding images when they first meet a woman, though I also think that more men are interested in settling down than pop culture would care to admit. Most guys I know, at least the ones my age (30-35), are looking for one quality … Read Morewoman, and are less interested in playing around with a variety of ladies just for carnal pleasure. That gets unfulfilling real fast.
On a different note, I would say that it’s actually women who tend to be more in their bodies and present to the moment. I think that guys (including me) can easily get stuck in their heads when they’re with a woman they find attractive. “What should I say to her?” “Did she like that joke?” “Is she having a good time?” Basically: blah blah blah. To be fully present (not over-thinking or “zoning out”) with a woman one-on-one is a skill that takes practice for many guys.
I really enjoyed reading your blog Kristin, as well as Jeffrey’s male perspective. Living on the west coast, I have definitley become very jaded when it comes to men. I feel like out here men are not as “real” as on the east coast. I think I feel this way because I just don’t really talk to them. I’m surrounded by women 24/7 and so a male perspective is hard to come by. Thank you Jeffrey for posting your thoughts….
Thanks, Radka. Glad I could bring some perspective. Yeah, maybe it is an east/west coast thing? I’d say keep an open mind and keep a “story” that’s both positive and grounded in abundance. I’m practicing that here on the east coast. Plus, the more you start keeping an eye out for the quality guys, you’ll start seeing them more and more.
men and women both live in the moment – it is just often different moments in different ways – the challenge and reward of finding the right person is bringing those 2 moments together